Dinner For Three
Erin M. Kinch

 

 

A blind date! Susan still couldn't believe she'd agreed to this nonsense. There were so many more important things she could be doing - flying a patrol, saving the world from ruthless scum bags, filling out the paperwork to go back to her maiden name, washing her hair…

Instead, she sat in a too-fancy Italian restaurant waiting for a guy who was probably a freak or a loser. She glanced at her watch - ten minutes after eight. He also apparently couldn't tell time. Susan toyed with the stem of her water glass and watched the door. Her corner table had a perfect view of the hostess stand.

"Can I bring you something else to drink while you wait?" The waiter appeared next to her, pen poised over his order pad. Susan wondered if he thought she'd been stood up.

"A glass of the house wine, please," she said. Maybe it would help her relax.

The door opened and a harried man entered, scanning the dining room. Was this him? He stood about 6'5", which was good because Susan was 5'11". His tousled brown hair looked attractively natural, not held in place with tons of product. When his intense green eyes landed on her table, he smiled, and Susan felt it in the pit of her stomach. He was definitely cute - or was "hottie" the correct term now?

"Hi, I'm Jake." He spoke with a slight southern drawl. "You must be Susan. You look just like Charlene said."

"Nice to meet you, Jake." Susan shook his hand and noticed that he kept his nails buffed and filed. Charlene said he was a superhero, too, didn't she? Sometimes Susan went months without finding time for a manicure.

Jake ordered his own glass of wine from the magically reappearing waiter, then said, "Sorry I'm late. There was a hold up."

"Literally?" Susan arched an eyebrow.

"Happens every time I have plans." Jake shook his head. "Criminals must do it on purpose - their diabolical scheme to keep us from having a social life."

"It seems like that sometimes," Susan agreed. If the Stonemason hadn't threatened the city with a nuclear warhead and she'd actually made it to their anniversary dinner, would things with Greg have fallen apart so dramatically? Of course, if she was honest with herself, the jagged fissures had pierced their relationship long before that.

"Well, a mugger's on his way to jail instead of off to pawn the contents of a lady's purse, so justice is served for one evening." Jake opened his menu and squinted at the loopy script. "What's good here?"

"It's my first time." Sarah glanced at the menu. "The chicken alfredo sounds good."

The waiter delivered the wine and took their orders. After he left, an awkward silence fell over the table. Susan wracked her brain, trying to remember what she and Greg talked about when they were dating, but nothing came to mind. Five years of marriage and a divorce had apparently made her a dating retard.

"So," Susan finally said, "how do you know Charlene?" After marrying Ted (a.k.a., Supersonic), one of Susan's compatriots in the Allies of Justice, Charlene made it her mission to get Susan back into the dating pool. Susan tried to talk Charlene out of it, but three months of styling tips and blind date offers had finally worn Susan down.

"We dated in high school," Jake replied, "back in Texas."

"Really?" Susan asked, intrigued.

"Charlene was actually the one who figured out what was going on with me." Jake glanced around and, satisfied no one was paying attention, extended his hand, which abruptly vanished. The empty space beyond his sleeve passed through a wine glass, and his hand reappeared on the other side.

"Impressive," Susan said. "I see why they call you the Phantasm."

"The first time I phased, Charlene and I were kissing. She opened her eyes, and I was gone." Jake chuckled. "I thought I'd gone crazy - I couldn't see myself or grab onto anything. She said, 'Honey, I think we just figured out what you're gonna do with your life.'"

Susan smiled. "Charlene's a sweetheart."

"That she is. Too bad I was an idiot back then."

"Power crazy?" Susan remembered discovering her own powers. Flight patterns, spandex, and bench-pressing cars supplanted normalcy for at least the first year.

"I ran off to Dallas to do the hero thing and didn't want to be tied down. I didn't have the football gene, so superpowers were my first all-access pass to girls." Jake shrugged. "Luckily, Charlene kept me on as a friend anyway, and it turned out someone better was waiting for her down the road."

Just then, their food arrived. Susan took a bite of pasta and savored the creamy alfredo sauce. If all the food was this good, maybe the restaurant deserved its uppity atmosphere.

"So," Jake said after a bite of lasagna, "tell me about you." Susan hesitated, and Jake added, "Start with something easy. What does Fantastigal do?"

"Pretty normal stuff," Susan replied, then laughed at herself. "For a superhero anyway. Flight, enhanced strength, and I can shoot laser beams from my eyes."

"Sounds like you'd be good to have along on a mission."

Susan shrugged. "I do all right."

"A member of the Allies of Justice is better than all right," Jake replied. "They don't take just anybody."

"Thanks," Susan murmured, and then decided to shift the subject away from her. "Now it's my turn." Her grin dared him to answer her question. "Ever been married?"

Jake shook his head. "Not even close."

"I'll be honest. You don't look like the kind of guy who needs help finding dates." Susan nibbled a breadstick dredged in alfredo sauce, thankful for the rapid metabolism that came with her super strength.

"Expecting a loser, huh?" Jake chuckled, and Susan couldn't help but laugh, too.

"This may be too much for a first date," Jake said, "but I'll say it anyway. I got tired of girls who just want to check off superhero in their little black book. I tried more serious dating, but it didn't work with regular women. We never had enough in common, and I couldn't get comfortable enough with any of them to even consider telling them about my secret identity. When Charlene mentioned that she wanted to set me up with a hero, I thought it was worth a shot." By this point, he was blushing. "What about you? Ever been married?"

Susan fortified herself with a sip of wine. "My divorce was final a few weeks ago."

"Hero?"

"Regular guy."

"What went wrong?" Jake hesitated. "I mean, only if you want to tell me."

"It's okay." She sighed. "I've tried to pinpoint what went wrong a million times. We liked all the same books and movies, bicycling, and gourmet cooking. After things got serious, I trusted him with my secret identity. I thought we could make a real go of it, and it worked for a couple of years. Then I joined the Allies of Justice and had to do more hero work. After a while, he seemed to resent all the late nights and missed dinners. I offered to quit; then Greg said he wanted to fight crime with me."

Jake grimaced. "Oh, man!"

"Tell me about it!" Susan rubbed her temples. Just the memory of those days brought on the beginnings of a tension headache. "He studied martial arts, so he had some skills, but what good are fists of fury when you're faced with Free Radical's latest death ray or Dr. Woe's juggernaut? Dr. Woe got away because I had to rescue Greg, so I laid down the law - no more coming with me on patrol. Then he started bringing me tips on criminal activity, but they never panned out. When he tried to send me on a wild goose chase after an evil bridge club, I'd had enough."

"Did he back down?"

"He got more aggressive, following me around, putting himself in harm's way. I realized if I didn't do something, he would get killed, so I left him." Susan sighed. "It was hard, but, honestly, his obsession suffocated everything we used to have. He stopped being the guy I married a long time ago."

"That's rough," Jake said. "But it sounds like you did the right thing."

When the waiter arrived with the check, Susan offered to pay for her share, but Jake refused like a true southern gentleman. Afterwards, he escorted her to her car.

"This was my first blind date," Susan said, feeling awkward. "How do you think it went?"

"I'm not an expert," Jake said, "but I thought it went pretty well."

"Really?" Susan couldn't hide her surprise. She'd been afraid that she'd spent too much time talking about Greg, and not enough talking about Jake.

"Yeah." Jake raked his fingers through his hair, looking adorably nervous. "I'll be in town for the rest of the week, if you want to go out again."

Before Susan could answer, a masked figure popped up from behind her car and pointed a gun at them.

"Get away from her," the figure ordered in a harsh whisper, but Susan recognized the voice despite the lame attempt at subterfuge.

"I know it's you, Greg. Take off the stupid mask."

The man pulled his ski mask off without dropping the gun, and her heart sank when Greg glared back at her. After this, Jake would be on a plane back to Texas in no time. She would probably have to pay for his ticket!

"You realize Jake isn't a criminal, don't you?" Susan asked, striving to stay calm. "I'm not being kidnapped or coerced. You don't have to save me."

"You traded up is what you did," Greg accused. "Old Greg doesn't have the stuff to save the world, so you hooked up with the Phantasm instead. I heard you talking about it at lunch with Charlene yesterday, but I didn't believe it until I saw it with my own eyes."

"You spied on me? That's low, even for you!" She wanted to vaporize him with her eye beams where he stood; only years of training stopped her from giving into the impulse. Greg wasn't a power-hungry fiend with a death ray; what he needed was some serious therapy.

"You need to get over this, Greg. Our divorce is final. I can see whoever I want, and so can you, for that matter."

"I don't want anyone else," Greg cried. "I want you. It's supposed to be you and me, saving the world together forever."

Jake took a slow step backwards. "I don't want to get in the middle of this. How 'bout I get going and let y'all talk this out."

"And give you time to call in the Allies of Justice?" A maniacal grin twisted Greg's lips. "I'm no fool."

Exasperation broke through Susan's barely-maintained calm. "They wouldn't come here for an idiot with a gun that can't hurt either of us. You're small potatoes compared to what the Allies face every day, and you need to come to terms with that before it kills you!"

"Small potatoes?" Greg repeated. "Small potatoes! All you ever do is underestimate me." He aimed at Jake and squeezed the trigger. Jake phased out, but instead of a bullet, a beam of light from the barrel of the gun ensnared Jake, dragging him back into his full form.

"It's called a Solidifier," Greg announced. "I found it on the technology black market, which I told you existed, Sue." He took a derringer from his pocket and aimed it at Jake. "Without his phasing ability, the Phantasm is as vulnerable to a bullet as I am."

Susan's mind worked overtime. Even Greg could probably hit Jake at this close range. She couldn't reach the gun before Greg pulled the trigger, and Greg knew the telltale signs of her eye beams.

"What are you trying to prove?" Susan asked, hoping to distract Greg so she could make a move. "Despite everything that's happened between us, I never thought of you as a murderer."

"He's standing in the way of you and me." His whine reminded her of his endless complaints about never getting a turn with the remote control. "Once he's gone, we can be together again. I have a lot of new ideas about how I can help you fight crime."

"I hate to break it to you," Susan said, "but now you're the criminal."

Greg shook his head. "The lives we'll save as a team will more than make up for one loss now. Texans are the only ones who care about the Phantasm anyway."

"The ends never justify the means." Susan gave him her best Fantastigal glare. "You've crossed a line, and I don't think you can go back."

Greg shook his head more violently. "You're wrong, Sue!" The hand holding the pistol wavered, giving Susan the opening she needed.

She aimed an eye beam straight at the Solidifier. The metal turned white-hot under Greg's fingers. He yelped, and the Solidifier dropped to the asphalt below. Greg fired his gun, but Jake phased out and the bullet embedded itself in the side of Susan's SUV. Seconds later, Susan had Greg locked in her unbreakable grasp as Jake tied him up with the rope Susan carried in her car for emergencies. Jake must have been a former Boy Scout, because, when he was done, Greg couldn't move, much less try to escape.

"You can't send me to prison, Sue," Greg whimpered.

"Kidnapping and assault with a deadly weapon are serious offenses, especially since the mayor launched his 'tough on crime' campaign."

Greg trembled, and Susan sighed. "I won't turn you over to the police."

"I knew you still loved me!" Greg crowed. "Everything I did was in the name of love, and now we can…"

"Enough!" Susan shouted. "I'm taking you to Lazy Acres."

Greg paled. "The sanitarium?"

"Yes! You will commit yourself and tell them everything, with the exception of our secret identities. Then you'll stay there until the psychiatrists decide you're ready to re-enter society. I can keep you out of jail because nothing bad actually happened, but next time you might not be so lucky." She shoved Greg into the backseat and slammed the door on his protests. She and Jake walked a few feet away.

"Not going to fly him there?" Jake asked.

"I didn't bring my suit," Susan explained. "Besides, I should do this, not Fantastigal. Then maybe I should look into a restraining order."

"Might come in handy," Jake agreed.

"So…" Susan shifted uneasily. "…about that second date. I understand if you want to run for the hill country after all this. Don't worry, I'll tell Charlene it was all my fault."

"Whoa!" Jake exclaimed. "I never said I didn't want a second date."

Susan looked up in surprise. "Even after my ex tried to kill you?"

"No big deal," Jake replied. "Remind me to tell you about the cheerleader who tattooed my profile on her butt, then keyed the Phantasm Mobile because I commented on the inordinately large size of the tattoo's nose."

Susan chuckled. "Sounds like a good story."

"I'll tell it to you over ice cream tomorrow," Jake offered.

"Founders Park?" Susan suggested. "Two o'clock?"

Jake kissed her on the cheek. "See you then."